I received your letter earlier this month, and never got the chance to properly thank you. It made me very happy to know that you had thought of me. I would very much like to play this song with you, when we next see each other. Perhaps I can play it on my erhu, and you on piano, but truthfully, I’m curious to learn piano, too. Would you have the patience to teach me without breaking my fingers?
Truthfully, I don’t know if you’ll make it to the end of this letter without throwing it away, or possibly murdering me. But in the end, it will have been worth it, and I’ll accept the consequences, whatever they may be. Perhaps that’s part of the fun, one of the reasons I enjoy being around you so much. And I truly do, my beloved.
Does it pain you to be referred to with such affection? Should I keep to myself how, looking out the window before I fall asleep, you’re often the last thing I think of? You’d probably call me a liar, or someone who needs to get better hobbies, and you’re probably right. But it doesn’t make it any less true. I think about you not only because my feelings towards you means you’re often on my mind, but because I worry about you.
Whether you like it or not, I worry. I worry about someone who so selflessly throws herself, her own well-being, for the benefit of others. You are not a shield, and you are not a tool. I admire greatly that you live and die for the sake of others, but you deserve the same esteem, too. You are Caren Ortensia-- honest and beautiful and a little bit cruel.
A little bit cruel, but also someone who has proven themselves a true and loyal friend, time and time again. You have treated my dragon brothers, Kija and Shin-ah, with kindness, and that alone would be enough for me to hold someone in high regard. But even before I knew of your friendship with them, you intrigued me like no one else did. Like no one else does. You frightened me, at first, but the night we shared on the balcony, when I first expressed my interest in you… I got to see a glimpse of a different side of Caren that night.
I love each and every side of you. My heart yearns for you when I think I might have seen a hint of vulnerability in your eyes. It burns and beats faster when you give me harsh words; when you plainly speak truths that others keep politely to themselves, or are too afraid to say. I even love, and simultaneously hate, the part of you that would protect me at any cost. I get the feeling that it doesn’t matter what I say: you would take away my pain again, if it came down to it.
Forgive me, but I can’t remember if I’ve told you about the woman that raised me into the man I am today. I bring her up because when I speak to you, I am constantly reminded of her, of my captain Gi-gan. Like you, she has little patience for my antics, and speaks her mind with such brutal honesty that our crew can’t help but fall in line. She is our mother, our queen of the seas, and ever since I was 12 years old, I have tried to win her heart. To this day, I continue to try and court her.
I have always told her that she is my ideal woman, that if things had worked out differently and I were born 50 years earlier, I could have won her over.
That line has always earned me a few painful hits! She can really pack a punch!
It’s become something of a running joke now, but I often think about how well you two would get along. She, like you, has her own brand of kindness. Actions rather than words,
You, like her, are an exceptional woman. I never thought I’d meet another woman who could so easily anchor me and earn my loyalty.
And yet, you told me you think yourself someone unworthy of many things. I won’t accept this, Caren. As I’ve said before, I will chase you to the ends of Enprise if I have to. I will give you praise, kiss you, and worship you, until you have no choice but to admit defeat. You are worthy of love. Of friendship. Maybe it’s me who’s not worthy of you, but I won’t let that stop me. The harsher your words become, the more I fall in love.
Will you fly with me soon? I wanted to take you, that night on the balcony. You seemed to really enjoy the night sky. Or maybe you just wanted to get away from me!
Sincerely yours,
[ also attached is his favorite hair ribbon. it may not be a grandiose gift, but it was something difficult to part with, and he finds it appropriate as the symbolism for the hold she has on his heart. ]
letter, mail
Dearest Caren,
I received your letter earlier this month, and never got the chance to properly thank you. It made me very happy to know that you had thought of me. I would very much like to play this song with you, when we next see each other. Perhaps I can play it on my erhu, and you on piano, but truthfully, I’m curious to learn piano, too. Would you have the patience to teach me without breaking my fingers?
Truthfully, I don’t know if you’ll make it to the end of this letter without throwing it away, or possibly murdering me. But in the end, it will have been worth it, and I’ll accept the consequences, whatever they may be. Perhaps that’s part of the fun, one of the reasons I enjoy being around you so much. And I truly do, my beloved.
Does it pain you to be referred to with such affection? Should I keep to myself how, looking out the window before I fall asleep, you’re often the last thing I think of? You’d probably call me a liar, or someone who needs to get better hobbies, and you’re probably right. But it doesn’t make it any less true. I think about you not only because my feelings towards you means you’re often on my mind, but because I worry about you.
Whether you like it or not, I worry. I worry about someone who so selflessly throws herself, her own well-being, for the benefit of others. You are not a shield, and you are not a tool. I admire greatly that you live and die for the sake of others, but you deserve the same esteem, too. You are Caren Ortensia-- honest and beautiful and a little bit cruel.
A little bit cruel, but also someone who has proven themselves a true and loyal friend, time and time again. You have treated my dragon brothers, Kija and Shin-ah, with kindness, and that alone would be enough for me to hold someone in high regard. But even before I knew of your friendship with them, you intrigued me like no one else did. Like no one else does. You frightened me, at first, but the night we shared on the balcony, when I first expressed my interest in you… I got to see a glimpse of a different side of Caren that night.
I love each and every side of you. My heart yearns for you when I think I might have seen a hint of vulnerability in your eyes. It burns and beats faster when you give me harsh words; when you plainly speak truths that others keep politely to themselves, or are too afraid to say. I even love, and simultaneously hate, the part of you that would protect me at any cost. I get the feeling that it doesn’t matter what I say: you would take away my pain again, if it came down to it.
Forgive me, but I can’t remember if I’ve told you about the woman that raised me into the man I am today. I bring her up because when I speak to you, I am constantly reminded of her, of my captain Gi-gan. Like you, she has little patience for my antics, and speaks her mind with such brutal honesty that our crew can’t help but fall in line. She is our mother, our queen of the seas, and ever since I was 12 years old, I have tried to win her heart. To this day, I continue to try and court her.
I have always told her that she is my ideal woman, that if things had worked out differently and I were born 50 years earlier, I could have won her over.
That line has always earned me a few painful hits! She can really pack a punch!
It’s become something of a running joke now, but I often think about how well you two would get along. She, like you, has her own brand of kindness. Actions rather than words,
You, like her, are an exceptional woman. I never thought I’d meet another woman who could so easily anchor me and earn my loyalty.
And yet, you told me you think yourself someone unworthy of many things. I won’t accept this, Caren. As I’ve said before, I will chase you to the ends of Enprise if I have to. I will give you praise, kiss you, and worship you, until you have no choice but to admit defeat. You are worthy of love. Of friendship. Maybe it’s me who’s not worthy of you, but I won’t let that stop me. The harsher your words become, the more I fall in love.
Will you fly with me soon? I wanted to take you, that night on the balcony. You seemed to really enjoy the night sky. Or maybe you just wanted to get away from me!
Sincerely yours,
[ also attached is his favorite hair ribbon. it may not be a grandiose gift, but it was something difficult to part with, and he finds it appropriate as the symbolism for the hold she has on his heart. ]